How to deal with setbacks

How to deal with setbacks

This week I have experienced a few setbacks.

Luckily I am prepared and I have used FEEL4 to cheer myself up and place me back on my path to success.

I thought it would be good to share with you how you too can do this with any setbacks you experience.

First of all let's have a look at the definition:

setback: a reversal or check in progress

I think this definition is brilliant at starting to explain how to deal with setbacks.

Experiencing setbacks does not mean you will not achieve your goal. In fact in FEEL4 terms they are a vital source of lessons to learn (Step 4) from. They are not stopping you from achieving your goals, they are merely making you reverse a little and correct yourself.

To deal with my setbacks I always use my FEEL4 journal to write them out and examine them.

One easy way to examine them is to literally ask yourself a list of questions. The questions can be as general as:

1. What can you learn from this setback which will help you to succeed next time around?

2. How does this setback compare with being told you have only one day to live?

3. Will this setback stop you planning what you are going to do next?

4. Does this setback overrule any of the energizing factors you have listed in Step 2 of FEEL4?
I will leave it there for now. The questions will vary according to what your setback is but these help me make my point.

My point is that when using FEEL4 you are unstoppable. For a start you have agreed to the code of conduct (take a look at my post yesterday to see the code). With the code you promise yourself not to be negative about what has happened and you absolutely know giving up in not an option.

So when I run through my questions in my journal I quickly realise that my setback isn't that bad. Let me answer my questions so you can see it visually:

1. What can you learn from this setback which will help you to succeed next time around? I have learnt that I need to be confident in myself and never ever be sidetracked, stick to my plan and path and I cannot fail.

2. How does this setback compare with being told you have only one day to live? It doesn't! Point accepted. I am glad to be alive.

3. Will this setback stop you planning what you are going to do next? No, in fact I can tweak my plan right now, so in other words the setback is not stopping me from continuing to work on my path, this knowledge makes me feel better, things aren't so bad.

4. Does this setback overrule any of the energizing factors you have listed in Step 2 of FEEL4? Absolutely not! One of my energizing factors is to make my daughter proud of me and there is nothing that is going to stop that from happening, certainly not this one setback. I am even more determined to achieve my goal now.
By writing out what you feel about your setback, and what you have experienced, you are giving yourself a powerful form of therapy which makes you feel better :) and a valuable way to learn from the experience and put it into perspective.

Perspective is key here. If you can find a positive perspective from what you have thought was a setback then you automatically turn things around to work in your favour emotionally and practically.

I hope this makes sense? When I start offering pathfinding (FEEL4 coaching) services this is something you will get taught and tends to be easier to understand and more powerful when coming from someone else about the things you are going through.

Ultimately just remember a setback is not going to stop you from achieving something if you want it bad enough.

There are many examples of this, such as the teenager Billy Monger who after making contact with an unsighted, stationary car at over 120mph during a British F4 race at Donington Park circuit, was left with life-changing injuries and received amputations to both legs. He has since rebuilt his life and returned to racing, managing to still achieve podium finishes. Now that is a great example of someone not letting a setback effect their dreams.

Take care today, you can do this!

Author: Cn

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