If I didn't do this FEEL4 technique I would probably be dead
Living with a phobia wears you out. Imagine if every single thing you did involved the metaphorical voice of a fear gremlin coming into your head and trying to convince you that whatever you are doing will lead to a terrible outcome. I hope you cannot imagine it.
Throughout my entire life, simple things like going shopping all involve that gremlin trying to scupper things. How? For me, it appears anything goes for the fear gremlin; it will try and convince me that I will vomit in public or I will collapse on the floor. The consequence is that everyone will look at me, leaving me feeling humiliated.
For over four decades, I have dealt with this gremlin. I have learnt a lot about how to overcome and retrain your brain to deal with it.
The most important thing is to instantly realise that the voice of the fear gremlin is utterly wrong! Everything it tells you is utter bullsh*t!
I don't use that last word lightly, anger is a wonderful and powerful emotion to put the gremlin in its box forever. Keep your awareness radar active 24/7 and learn to get angry as soon as fearful thoughts try and scupper you doing something which most people would not deem fearful.
Like any path you walk, it takes one step at a time to complete the path. In FEEL4 paths are integral to getting you to feel your way to your destination of focus.
Where phobias are concerned, FEEL4 is a fantastic game changer. By ensuring that every step of the way helps you feel positive energy surrounding your actions, you soon start to override the fear gremlin's voice. Now I laugh at the gremlin's voice if it appears.
Here is one quick FEEL4 technique that has worked dramatically for me and will start changing your habits straight away. If you are feeling fearful about doing something. Pull out your phone or sit are you computer, or find a pen and paper and just run through (write down and read out loud) the four steps as follows:
FEEL4 PATH
(Example is based on being fearful of going out shopping)
STEP 1: FOCUS (what are you worrying about, what do you want to achieve/do) - I am focusing on going shopping this morning
STEP 2: ENERGIZE (what will REALLY make you want to do the latter) - I want to go shopping because in doing so I will not give in to the fear and that will mean that as time goes on I will not even need to fear going shopping, imagine just going out without worrying, being able to meet friends for a coffee in the shopping centre, being able to meander and pick up new clothes, clothes that will make me feel great and will make me look great to others, in fact, those clothes may be the reason I meet the love of my life and start a relationship that will make me smile each day, I am keen to just do this!
STEP 3: ENGAGE (what do you have to do to achieve step 1) - I won't overthink this, I am going to walk into town and I am going to arrange to meet my friends on route. I am going to do this right now.
STEP 4: LEARN (during and after the event write down what you learnt, things which will help you feel and do better next time you want to shop) - As I walked to town I met another friend on the way and we had a lovely chat, I didn't even think about being fearful. I learnt that the fear gremlin can never predict life and therefore the inner voice should not be listened to, the reality is I was able to cope once I committed, I learnt the fear itself is worse than the reality, therefore next time I will just go shopping and not worry so much. [Update 2 months later - I just wanted to add that I don't even feel fearful about shopping anymore, it was the giving into the fear that gave me the worst feelings, it stopped me getting the antidote of getting out there and letting the intricacies of life heal me naturally].
The four steps of FEEL4 can be used any way you want. The more you use them the more powerful they will appear. Use them to achieve anything you want, use them in any order if it helps you. The magic of these steps is together they will always lead to a successful outcome mentally and physically.
I wish you well. Take care today.
Author: Christian Jacques Bennett
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