Feeling better doing things you hate

Dan from Newbury, UK asked FEEL4 to write a topic about commuting.

He hates commuting in the UK. It is his number one pet hate.

This is where FEEL4 is great at helping Dan (and people like him) to overcome a negative viewpoint and encourage him to do something he'd otherwise have given up on.

Let me explain further. Dan's day rate is over £300 GBP. The closer he can work to London the higher that rate goes up. So literally working in the centre of London can lead to rates of up to £800 per day in comparison. Amazing right? Well it depends on the individual.

In Dan's case he has family and financial commitments that mean the cost of commuting to London and the quality time he has with his family are paramount. If his commuting costs are £300 a day then earning £600 in London makes no sense. He may as well work close to home for £300 and not have the hassle.

But like many others, Dan tells me if he can find a way to get the London money without too much commuting expense, he would take it. If he can earn an extra £200 clear a day that would enable him to give his family a wonderful life (mainly because he can pay off the debt he has mounted sooner rather than later).

So to pathfind this I asked him the following questions:

1. Focus - Is he sure that the extra money is definitely worth it? £300 a day is still a decent wage. In other words, does he want to make working in London and earning more money his main focus?

2. Energize - Does his list of things that energize him to commute to London outweigh those that do not?

3. Engage - What are the cheapest methods of travel to commute to London? Which of these methods of travel would he enjoy the most?

4. Learn - From his answers what can he learn that will help him positively move forward.
Dan came to the conclusion that even though he loved spending time with his family, now was the right time to put in the hard work and make the money. His children were teenagers and he had spent the first part of their life being heavily involved with bringing them up. He now wanted to get his family financially sound so that he could help his children to buy their first home and car.

He hated the idea of commuting by train because the trains got so crowded, plus it meant he was stuck to the train timetable. Driving a car wasn't even worth thinking about with the congestion on the roads and the actual congestion charge London requires.

Then an idea came to mind which excited him. He was lucky enough to have a motorcycle license. Motorcycles are exempt from the London congestion charge! He used to love motorcycling. It made him feel free. He would actually pay to take a motorcycle around a track on birthdays because he loved the feeling so much.

Seeing his answers I told him that he had found his path to commuting in London. Dan agreed.

Final Thoughts...

Energizing the mind is the most important thing you can do in the FEEL4 steps. You have to have a desire to want to achieve what you are focusing on. In Dan's case the thought of commuting disgusted him up until he thought of commuting with a motorcycle.

I understand that Dan's path may not work for you. Perhaps you don't have a motorcycle license or are in a wheelchair. Every person's situation is different but in every person's situation there is a solution which can set them on a path to improve their life.

Author: Cn



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